My Immortal
by DracoMalfoy456
Summary: Hermione feels alone. After the death of her friend Harry Potter, and the love of her life shutting down, how will Hermione react? What will she choose? Song fic, it would be best if you listened to My Immortal by Evanescence while reading this Fic, as that is the song this fic is based on. AU. Romione, then turns into Dramione.


**A/N: Hello. I don't know whether to call this fic Romione, or Dramione... so I decided to do both. Please, this is a warning, do not read if you hate Dramione. It ends with Dramione, and I don't want to make anyone hate me/be mad at me. So, continue reading at your own risk. That is all.**

Things hadn't been good since the war ended. Ever since our first kiss, he's become distant. I don't know what do anymore. It's like I'm living with a shell of the man I once loved. I _still _loved. But nothing I did could help him. He was just so lost. We've been together for 5 years now, and he barely talks, barely eats. I think a part of him died when his brother died. When Lavender died. When Harry…

When Voldemort died, we all thought it would get better, but it didn't. The Death Eaters didn't go down without a fight. Most of them fled the battle, but they regrouped. They attacked our safe house, taking both Harry, and Lavender, who was still healing from her attack by Greyback. I knew Ron still had some feelings for the girl, as he would sit by her bed, talking to her as she healed. I tried not to get jealous, but I would.

After they died, it was like a hole was left in all of our hearts, but as usual, I had to be the strong one. For all of us. The only good thing about that attack was the Death Eaters were also killed. The war was finally over. But at what costs?

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears_

No matter how hard it would be on both of us, I had to get out. I had to get away. This was going to kill me, seeing him look so dead, every day. It hurt me to the point I could barely look at him anymore. For about the last year I've been going out almost every night, to try to find comfort in another man's arms, but it never helped. All it did was make me feel horrible, for doing this to Ron, not that he'd actually care anymore.

I just feel so lost. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to _feel_ anymore. A few months ago, I met a man. He made me feel alive again. He made me feel like me. It didn't matter, our past, how he used to tease me, and how he used to hurt me. He changed, and so have I. The war changed us all. But how could I ever be with him when I had to watch over Ron?

I've gone over this over and over again in my mind. I didn't know what I wanted. Did I want to stay with Ron? Did I want to wait, wait for him to get better? Would he get better? Or would it be best to leave him? Should I think about his, or my own happiness? I still loved him, and that was the worst thing about all of this.

_And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
_

Some days I wish I had died in that attack as well. It would have been kinder to just be dead, instead of having to be here, watching my only friend, my only love waste away. Tears build in my eyes as I think about everything we've been through. All we survived, and how we got to where we are. It was heartbreaking, to know he was still here, yet he wasn't. And that nothing I did would help him. Tears fall down my face.

I look at him, and I realize what I have to do. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. If I stayed with Ron, I would waste away, just like he was. It wasn't fair, not to me.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

I approached him.

"Ron?" I ask hesitantly, not knowing how to let him know I had to leave him. Not knowing what it would do to him.

He looked at me, his eyes, as usual, dead and unseeing. I fought back a sob. An idea popped into my mind. I would give him one last chance. One last time to see if he was still in there, somewhere.

"Ron, say something. Anything, please." I begged, knowing if he would just answer me, I would stay. "Please!" I hysterically screamed at him, when he hadn't said a word. I back up into a chair, and sink into it, letting the tears fall freely. I couldn't do this anymore. I just couldn't. And though it broke my heart, the next words came out loud and clear.

"Ron, I'm leaving."

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me  
_

He just looked blankly at me. I didn't think he had even heard me. I was about to repeat myself, when he said his first word in over a year.

"What?"

I closed my eyes. I had to do this. I couldn't live this way anymore, hoping he'll get better. Just because he finally talked doesn't mean this is progress.

"I'm leaving Ron. I can't do this anymore. Watching over you, praying things will get better… They're not going to get better Ron. You're not going to get better. I can't keep doing this, I can barely look at you anymore. You're not the man I love. You're just his shell, his reminder to me that everything is still horrible, even though the war is over. I will always love you Ron, but I just can't watch you waste away like this. I just can't." I whisper the end, trying to get him to see how hard this is for me.

"Hermione… You can't leave me." He says hoarsely, "You're all I have left."

I shake my head, "But you haven't been here. You haven't been here for me; you just left me to be by myself, to look after you. You left me to try and fix everything, while you checked out."

"My best friend died! My brother died! The one woman I loved died!" He shouted. Originally I would have been overjoyed that he was finally responding to me. But all I felt is cold, as his last confession echoed around in my mind. I let out a heart broken sob.

"So you did love her." I whispered. "I thought you had, when you would just sit next to her… talking and laughing, things you never did with me."

I looked at him, and his face was broken with misery.

"I lost more than you could ever imagine Ron. I lost my best friend too. I lost my family. I lost the love of my life. Yet I had to be the strong one, and push away everything, while you broke down. I just can't sit here anymore, watching over you, when you probably don't even care about me at all. I'm sorry Ron, but this is my final decision."

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me  
_

"Hermione, you can't do this. I-I need you. Please don't leave me." He practically begged. My heart shattered, tears flowing down my face. How could I leave him now? How? I closed my eyes, and told myself over and over, _I can't do this anymore; I can't do this anymore…_

I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes, but didn't look at him. I couldn't.

"I needed you. But you left me alone, to fix everything by myself. I'm sorry Ron, but this isn't working. It's never going to work. I deluded myself for so long, praying it would, but now I see it won't. I'm sorry."

After a long silence, I looked at him. I wish I hadn't. He had that dead, faraway look back in his eyes, looking so lost, so broken. After a few moments of me just staring at him, he spoke.

"You've found someone else, haven't you?" His question shocked me. "That's why you've been gone every night for the past year, isn't it?"

Not sure what to say, I just nodded slowly. "I'm sorry Ron. It was just too much to watch you slowly die; I had to try and find comfort elsewhere. And I did, a few months ago. He, he's good to me, he cares about me, he makes me feel alive Ron, something I haven't felt in a long, long time."

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
_

"Who? Who is he? Who is the man who is trying to take you away from me?"

"I haven't been yours in a while Ron, not after you left me alone." I snapped at him, getting angry at him all of a sudden, all the bitter thoughts, all of my hurt coming out. "And to answer your question, he is Draco Malfoy."

He just stared at me, shock on his face. After an uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke.

"Malfoy? The Draco Malfoy? The man who hurt you on many occasions as a child? He made you cry Hermione. Time and time again. How can you be leaving me, for him? He doesn't deserve you 'Mione" He whispers, not angrily, more sad, confused, and hurt.

More tears ran down my face. "People change. He's not the boy he was. He's not the boy we knew. He's kind, the war changed his view on everything. And how can you say he doesn't deserve me, because he hurt me, made me cry, when so have you? In school, and now. You have hurt me more than he ever had. He has brought me back to life in these few short weeks."

He looked away from me, looking out the window of our flat. After a few moments, he spoke again. "Do you remember the first time we kissed? At the battle of Hogwarts? I felt so happy at that moment, I thought everything was going to be alright. But... When I saw _her, _nearly dead… I realized I still cared for her. And when she died… I didn't know what to do Hermione, what could I do? So I just, gave up. I took you for granted, I thought you would always just wait for me, that you'd always help me, so I could hide. It was selfish of my, but if you give me a chance, I will change. I will be who you've always wanted me to be. Please, don't leave me Hermione. Please."

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me__  
_

"No. I can't Ron, I just can't. It took you realizing I wanted to leave for you to actually care about me. I can't have a relationship like that, not when you don't love me. Because I can see you don't love me Ron, and that kills me inside. Because I love you so much, so much I would do anything for you. But you couldn't even be there for me when I needed you most. I had to be strong, and be there for you, because you did take advantage of me, and that is something I don't think I can ever… forgive you for. No matter how hard this is for me, I have to leave you." I said in a small, broken voice, not looking at him.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
_

He didn't say anything. He just looked back out the window, with that blank, dead stare. I took this as… permission, so I got up, and went to my room to pack. After everything was packed up, I took one last look around my room, my gaze landing on the only picture I had left of Harry, Ron and I. It was back in 3rd year, when everything was still okay. Back when we were still happy. I would stare at this picture every night, crying myself to sleep, longing for the days when everything was good. When everything was going to work out.

I picked up my suitcase, and walked to the front door. I opened the door, but before I could exit, I heard him speak. It was soft, but I heard it.

"I'm so sorry Hermione. I hope he makes you happy. Merlin knows you deserve it." Those words broke me even more than before. With a final glace at Ron, I left the flat, never to return again.

I owled his mother the next day from my hotel room in the Leaky Caldron. I told her how I had left Ron, and how sorry I was for everything. I also asked her if she could arrange for someone to help him, if she could not help him herself.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

I watched as my owl flied away, as I turned back to find Draco standing there in the doorway, knowing that I was staying here, since I had told him I would once I left Ron. I walked over to him, and collapsed into his arms, sobbing harder than I ever had before. He just let me cry, rubbing my back, whispering soothing words into my ear.

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
_

"I left him." I choked out, after an hour of crying.

"I figured you had. Are you going to be alright love?" He said softly.

"I don't know. I feel like I betrayed him, like I wasn't good enough. Like I should have tried harder to help him. I don't know if I did the right thing anymore."

I thought that he would get mad at me, for me practically telling him I wasn't sure if I did the right thing choosing him. But he surprised me. He just kissed me softly, and looked me in the eye.

_And I held your hand through all of these years  
_

"You did all you could Hermione. You tried for five long years, you did more than enough to help him, but he just couldn't get better. You deserve better than him Hermione, you deserve happiness. And even if that happiness isn't with me, I'll just be happy to see you alive. I hope you can be happy with me, and I will try so hard to make you happy, but if you can't find happiness with me, I understand Hermione. But you shouldn't be with him, not after everything he put you through. And Hermione, no matter what, just remember… I love you." He whispered the last three words, barely audible, but they were loud enough for me to hear.

It was the first time he told me he loved me, and I could feel my heart warm, I felt my heart begin to heal, just a little bit. I looked up at him, and saw sincerity in his eyes. His beautiful gray eyes. Tears filled my eyes, but this time, they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of happiness.

_But you still have…_

I leaned up, and kissed him gently on the lips. I didn't love him. Not yet, but with time, after my heart healed, I knew I would. After a few moments of this gentle kiss, he pulled back, and rested his forehead against mine, looking me in the eyes.

"So will you stay with me? Will you be with me?"

I thought of how unhappy I've been all these years, how hopeless I always felt. And how when I was with Draco, I felt happy, alive. And while I will always love Ron, I had to move on. So, after only a second pause, I whispered,

"Yes."

_All of me_


End file.
